After all those dying moments, my bloggie finali bounce back to life, bt nt for a happy post =]
I had a dream last nite.
Its so real tat i found myself crying when i woke up.
In tat dream, thr's him, wif his gal, n me, n da rest of anoymousssss..
I can stil recalled tat particular scene vividly. He's holding his gal's hand n mumbled sumtin i cant rmbr...den thr's a part he said, 'plz dun be lidat'. It clearly means im jz being stupid for fooling around. I knew i wont get wat i want so i ran out n my final words, U'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND MY FEELING. I was crying all da way...
While im writing tis, im sobbing quietly. No one understand how i feel bt myself.
Im nt demanding anyting. I knew all tis while wat im doin is nt rite yet i stil go for it. So it serves me rite for wat im gettin in return. Im nt putting da blame on anyone. In fact, im da criminal. In order to be happie, i do tings past beyond da limit of wat frens do. I dun care wat ppl tink, bt now, da truth hits me. I'll never achieve da real happieness. Im jz lying to myself..
So wat if i tel him my real feeling? Tat wont get me to wat i hoped for, bt an awkward moment. Im nt tat kind of person who likes to tink so much. For me, jz go thru my life, enjoy it n be happie. bt im nt doin da rite ting...mayb tis time i tink too much. i dun giv a fucking damn.
I've gave myself some time n i dun tink i nid an answer to a question tat has been playing in my head for some time. Jz let it be.. Yes or no, it doesnt matter anymore.
Frens foreva. (:
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